i demand to see the manager

In times of crisis, it seems that most people behave rationally. Unfortunately for some, when confronted with changing circumstances, synapses begin to fuse, the finger squeezes the trigger and the eyes begin to roll towards the back of the head while Mr Kubrick calls “Action!”

This trait may have been endearing among tribes of Neanderthals when attempting to waylay a hairy mammoth with sharp sticks, but it loses some appeal when applied to the modern world and even to the world of sailing clubs.

Those who have served for some time on the board of a sailing club, inevitably find, that they are required to introduce boundaries and restrictions on all members, to specifically contain the behavior of a few. Yes, perhaps most laws have similar antecedents, but what colors the world of sailing clubs and indeed many sporting clubs, is that the legislators are all volunteers.

We too pay our membership subscriptions and full freight for any other offerings, while devoting quite considerable time and expertise, to issues innumerable, that confront even a modest organisation attempting to provide racing and fraternity to like minded souls.

And yet, always, when issues emerge, it is the same individuals who adopt the I demand to see the manager persona when confronted with any announcement from a board of volunteers. It is happening again during this lockdown phase and, it is again, the same individuals who are ignoring sensible protocols, endangering others, seeking confrontation and absolutely ensuring that club directors will need to introduce ever more draconian measures in order to curtail the behavior of a few bleating miscreants.

There may be a solution. When I were but lad, playing rugby was of great appeal, unfortunately, while never narrow-minded, I became increasingly short-sighted. It soon became apparent that playing without spectacles made me a danger to myself, my team mates and the referee, but rarely to the opposition.

Had there been a competition available solely for short-sighted players, I would not have had to retire with such ignominy. Even today, short sighted rugby could make for great television, until short-handed sailing conquers the airwaves, you could pick a team from rugby management any day of the week.

What I propose is that we engineer a situation post Covid, where the few bleating miscreants that populate every club are encouraged to form their own club, the Karens is nomenclature adopted on social media among the involuntarily celibate (let’s not go there given current circumstances).

Each member would be a Commodore, each would have access to the bank accounts, each could create rules that applied to everyone else except them, each could use the club whenever they damned well felt like it, no one would ever have to clean up, wash a cup, attend a single working bee or be told what to do.

I have some nominations. The unknown Anarchist.