For the first time in I believe close to 20 years, US Sailing finally asked me to speak at their so-called Leadership Forum, taking place this week.  At first I thought “Sure, why not?” And then I found out I was to be on the same panel with Tom Ehmann, who I have exactly zero issues with, Dave Reed from Sailing World (are they still around?) whom I’ll always remember for once threatening to sue us (get in line, homeboy) and Craig Leweck , who is famous for inheriting scuttledbutt from his daddy.

Maybe I could calmly sit there and play nice.  Naw, I don’t think so.  To say I have a great bullshit meter is an understatement, and I’m also not exactly patient when I hear bullshit.  Anyone who knows me, knows I’m not likely to sit there and listen to this glad-handing windbag spout his recycled, unoriginal bullshit. And I know me well enough to know that I simply can’t and I won’t subject myself to that.  There is almost no way I’m not going to look at him after he says something stupid and say, “Well, that was retarded.”

Besides, I’d prolly end up throwing a doughnut at his head. Which on second thought, might be worth it!

And yes, I would no doubt have something entertaining and interesting to say and contribute, but after all these years of being dissed by US Sailing, and my zero tolerance for that yutz, I declined.

To US Sailing, I appreciate the effort. Next time, put me on a different panel. Anything to not listen to the drone of ‘ums’, ‘uhs’, and self-righteous douchebaggery. Life is just too short for that torture. – ed.