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into the black

abe simpsonLike a lot of you, we love Seahorse magazine. And for us in particular, the guys who publish it. In a journalistic field populated with poseurs, small-minded cunts, and untalented douchebags, they have always been stand up men and friends to us, through thick and thin.

We get that part of what they do is present articles from the ‘experts’, some better than others. From the others, we have been oddly fascinated of late by the words of Paul Cayard, as he seems to be sliding out of touch with reality and into his own perception of it.

If his latest column, entitled Babies and bathwater isn’t proof that he is ready for the old folks home, we don’t know what is. Get this – Cayard spends nearly an entire column, waxing nostalgic about ‘the good old days’ (something he does with alarming frequency), but  in this one, he thinks sailing should return to requiring blue blazers (not always, mind you) to be worn at ‘special events.” Talk about losing the plot! That is the one thing that nobody except officious pricks and over-the-hill sailors want. Blue fucking blazers? So that we may return to the pompous bullshit that this sport has been trying to run away from for 30 years? Way to hip it up, Cayard.

Believe it or not, Cayard  (making a point as only Cayard can), goes on to say he think’s it’s “cool” when he sees a four-year old in a blazer and slacks coming out of a church on Sunday. Not only is that simply absurd rubbish, we wonder, would that be a catholic church? How cool is that?

Cayard puts a retarded exclamation point on his unintended comedic touch by using the stiflingly stuffy, laughably pompous and near coma-inducing decorum of his beloved St. Francis Yacht Club as the bell-weather for the return to the Glory Days of The Blue Blazer.

Dude, stop. Before you sound  like Abe Simpson, try to remember that people are starting to snicker.

Want to read the column and see the ridiculousness for yourself? Hit up the boys at Seahorse! Title inspiration comes from right here.