50 shades of spectra

From an anonymous anarchist from a story purported to have taken place just a few years ago…

So back at one of my first jobs as a boat mechanic, I had the pleasure of meeting many interesting characters, some of whom I got to work with regularly.  Tom, we’ll call him, liked to have big parties.  Like BIG themed parties and such.  Being a regular to these events, when he was prime on hosting a bondage party, I wasn’t too turned off to the idea.  I knew, firsthand, that all of the friskieness would happen after 1AM, giving me ample time to chill and still make an exit before things got too crazy.  Besides, I thought, “most of his girlfriends are pretty hot anyways.”

So I show up to Tom’s, kinda early, around 10, and mostly everyone is wearing spikes and leather and stuff.  I’m standing there in my shorts, sandals, sun-faded Tshirt, feeling pretty out of place, as I see old saw horses with pillows taped to them, eyebolts in the ceiling rafters, and piles of old halyards on the ground.  I dont think much of it, so I make it out to the backyard, where I know some friends.  “Cool,” I think.

Well, sometime later, Tom comes out into the backyard, and comes straight to me. “Dude, I need your help, come with me.”  Tom is like an older brother to me, and it’s still a little early in the evening, so my reservations aren’t too extreme.  “I am super busy with [things] upstairs, would you help a few friends?” He asks.  Before I have time to answer we walk into the living room, where there are a bunch of people standing around two half naked girls, and he introduces me to the whole group.  “Everyone, this is ______, he is a really good sailor, and even better at knots!”  I could sense their skeptiscism, as I was not dressed the part, but I could also sense a bit of intrigue about; we all know of sailors and their knots.

As Tom disappears down the hallway, I take one of the halyards off the floor, start uncoiling and flaking it out, and ask the girls how they would like to be tied together.  This hand to that, this to that.. a few Prusick’s handcuffs and a bit of Boy Scout [Eagle mind you!] ingenuity, Things were looking pretty sweet.  A crowd was starting to gather in a big circle around us. Without thinking, I started to whip up a simple purchase system, 4 to 1 to the ceiling, and before you know it, I had these two girls hoisted and spinning in the middle of the living room.

The look on everyone’s faces was priceless. The fact I was wearing shorts and sandals, with long hair amidst half naked, spike and leather clad bodies made absolutely no difference.  The respect had been earned, and the expectations far exceeded.  I had fun and was treated like a king that night!

So remember, always practice your knots, because you never know, someday a woman may ask you to tie her up, and when she does, you’re going to want to know what you’re doing!