Southeast Oz’s Gippsland Lakes Yacht Club has an interesting take on the rules for their winter racing series. We likey. An excerpt:
OLD FARTS INCORPORATED (OFI)
SAILING INSTRUCTIONS 2012
All races in this competition shall be governed by the Racing Rules of Sailing, and Safety Regulations of the A.Y.F (Aged Yachting Farts), and may be modified by these Sailing Instructions, which may be changed without notice or discussion.
Eligibility for entry requires the skipper to be a holder of a senior’s card or all skippers and crew that find time on their hands to float around the Gippsland Lakes instead of working.
3. NOTICE TO COMPETITORS
Notices to competitors will be by the rumour channel or by turning up on the day and be surprised.
4. CHANGES IN SAILING INSTRUCTIONS
4.1 Changes to the Sailing Instructions will not be notified until the briefing (well maybe a chat in the bar before the race if it’s a good day or shouted out as you leave the jetty on a bad day). No warning flag signal will be given as the OFI do not have a signal flag.
4.2 Anyone having hearing problems can be given a personal briefing with the use of a PA system or megaphone to ensure understanding;
5. SIGNALS MADE ASHORE
Signals will be made by word of mouth commencing with:
5.1 Hey You (Twice) – The race is called off – All boats are to immediately return to the club house (borrowed from the GLYC and located at Grassy Point) and have a drink in the bar;
5.2 Hey You (3 Times) – There is a protest – All boats are to return to the club house bar after the race to hear a protest.
5.3 Hey You (4 Times) – To communicate any other instructions to competitors – This may require all boats to return to club house bar.
6. SCHEDULE OF RACES
Races are scheduled outside daylight savings time as follows;
Every Tuesday 1pm Start time for a stern-chaser Should Tuesdays race be washed or blown out or
just from lack of interest on the day then it automatically moves to a Thursday race. 1pm Start time for a stern-chaser
Note: Future Old Farts series may be scheduled at any time due to water quality and health of participating Old Farts.
There will be one open division – ranging from bath tubs with sails to a 60 foot yacht (may we wish!).
8. THE COURSE
− As the previous OFSC’s course selection was notoriously unreliable. Any competitor may submit their choice of course. If multiple submissions have been made, then a course will be selected on the basis of pick which pocket you want. If no submissions have been made prior to 12.30pm, then the OFSC will stand on the balcony with a wet finger in the air and then declare the course to be sailed. Any competitor who has not taken advantage of making a course selection, but then says “wouldn’t be better to go …….” after the course has been posted, should be warned they will infuriate the OFSC and will definitely incur a severe time penalty for ensuing races.
− The course will be displayed on a chalk board in the GLYC bar area.
− It is recommended that at least one member of the crew writes the course down as there is no crash/rescue boat available to come looking for you.
− The last tack of the day will always be into the GLYC bar for much heated discussion of the day’s highly competitive sailing. (Gee…..thanks to the GLYC for the use of their bar. The OFI would be buggared without it being available).
1. It is guaranteed that the course will be somewhere on the Gippsland Lakes.
2. When jibing or tacking, consideration should be given by sailors to indicate direction with hands as calling starboard may not be heard. This does not mean a single finger in the air would be sufficient;
3. When reaching a buoy/mark the skipper must not turn until 3 boat lengths from the mark (turning halfway down the leg will require the skipper to shout the bar);
10. THE START
10.1 Starting will be in front of the GLYC clubhouse, every effort must be made to avoid collisions with Jetties, Police Boats, and other obstructions.
10.2 Individual skippers starting watches must be within 15 minutes tolerance with the club clock;
10.3 Competitors starting more than 15 minutes early will be penalised and such pleadings as being unable to read a watch will not be accepted.
10.4 Competitors starting more than 1 hour late will be DNS;
Any skipper who warrants an individual recall will be taken to account at the bar after the race and may have to go before the protest committee. (God bless them)
12. THE FINISH
12.1 The finish line will be in McMillan Strait adjacent to the GLYC between the extension of the line of bar and the power pole opposite on Raymond Island (there seems to be a trend here, I’ll have a beer thanks)
12.2 In the event that the course is not able to be completed by 3.30pm, the lead boat will be declared the winner and all other boats are to return to shore and the GLYC bar.
13. TIME LIMIT
The time limit for the race will be two and a half hours or until someone calls “hey you it’s time to head home” due to no wind or too much wind!
14.1 The Protest Committee will be made up of all sailors on the day and protests are only to be conducted after a minimum of 3 rounds of drinks have been consumed by the committee.
14.2 The committee’s decisions/findings are final and not open to challenge no matter how much bleating and cursing arises from the protesters.
14.3 Protest committee findings will be display within the same calendar year as the protest is heard.
15. GOOD ADDITIONAL INFORMATION
− Wheelchair access is available to all sailors from the sailability jetty;
− No fast shuffling on the jetties to avoid man overboard and water recovery of sailors;
− False teeth are to remain onshore (preferably in a glass of water out of sight) as no divers are rostered on for this series of races, spectacles are optional but any protests arising from the lack of eyesight will be instantly dismissed;
− Porta potties must be emptied prior to starting to ensure availability for frequent sittings during the race, while also avoiding spillage during racing.
− Pets – eg. Dogs, Cats, Birds, etc will be allowed to race provided they wear suitable clothing and life jackets. However biting the OFSC may get them disqualified for the race.
The race skipper of each boat is to pay $2 per race and this major windfall will be
converted to wine (hallelujah) and will be presented to the race winner on the day
(Subject to any ongoing protest results).
The handicapping will be under the “Collins Computation” method. This indicates “do the crime, do the time” or if you don’t like it, don’t come. No discussion will be entered into and the handicapper’s decision is final (Bribery and corruption may help but not guaranteed). All senior card holders will be allowed a reduction of 1 minute on their handicap
Scoring will be at the discretion of the OFSC. First past the post may not apply and will be left to the majority consensus taking into account the “least cheat doctrine”