this blows

vor on board

this blows

Leg 5, Day 1
April 12012 
Amory Ross, MCM, PUMA Ocean Racing powered by BERG 

Can I be honest with you? This race BLOWS! I write this without Kenny’s knowledge or approval, and god only knows how badly the panties of the team of seemingly 800 PR chicks would be bunched, but I have simply got to tell it like it is.

When I signed up for this "race", I envisioned something much, much different. Who knew what fragile, temperamental bitches not only these boats would turn out to be, but this crew as well. Holy christ, what a bunch of whiners! And to call Ken Read a Diva would be like calling Sarah Palin an idiot – Duh!

Between the farting, the gay porn magazines and the constant slacking off, (only to suddenly "look sharp" when the camera comes out) by these 11 overpaid douchebags, I have had enough.

Oh and did I mention that if we aren’t freezing, then we are boiling, and if it isn’t blowing 50, then it is blowing 0, and if it isn’t rough, then it is flat-ass calm. It is maddening, and appears to be never, ever, ever ending. Oh and did I mention that we have yet to even sniff a victory in this race? All these millions spent and we sail around in 3rd place the entire god damn time. We move up when someone (always) breaks in front of us.

Right, well I have probably said too much as it is, and now I’ll sign off and go back to being everyone’s boat bitch on board this hideous boat. Monster indeed. – Amory.