dumb and dumber

We’ve roasted the Abby Sunderland debacle to the point where there is really nothing left to say. Ill prepared, poorly planned, unqualified and pushed by an overbearing, bizarre father, her trip was destined to fail, which of course it did. But like the gift that keeps on giving, we ran across the story that little Abby is writing a book about her misadventures. What she has to say that hasn’t already been said is beyond us, but we suspect there will be a fair bit of excuses with a defensive tone, as if the criticism directed at "Team Abby" hasn’t been justified.

So what do you do when you have failed at your lone claim to fame, have taken heat for it, and wish to put it in a way that defies reality? You do what Sarah Palin did – hire a spin doctor to create a book of nonsense! Lynn Vincent who attempted to put lipstick on the pig when she "co-wrote" Going Rogue, is now going to try to paint Sunderland with a new brush.

Based on things that Vincent has said – she admires the Sunderland’s parenting skills, that it was "refreshing" for them to let Abby go on her trip, etc., we already know what’s coming – an amazing tale of a brave young girl, backed by by her supportive and nurturing parents, who battled the ocean and was unfairly victimized by waves of criticism, yet somehow, (with the blessing of jesus of course), emerged victorious. Cue applause and tears!

However, just like Going Rogue, a failed attempt to make one of the most vapid and idiotic figures in American politics into something that she isn’t, Going Rogue Wave (our suggestion for the title) will be another load of bollocks. And despite the inevitable publicity tour that will accompany it, we predict this lame attempt at cashing in on her "fame" will be a bust, and deservedly so. But we never forget that only in America can failure be repackaged and sold as winning. Look no further than Caribou Barbie herself.

We don’t mean to be too rough on the teenager, but Abby, your 15 minutes are up. Didn’t your daddy tell you that yet?