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protocolostomy


protocolostomy

While the yachting press anxiously awaits the September 13th Valencia press conference announcing the new protocol for AC34, Magnus Wheatley looks into his crystal ball for his idea of what they’ll hear.

Russ (In his broad Kiwi tones): "Weelcome everybody, todaaay weee’ll annownce the prowgress made in what’s been a bizzy evaluation tarm for BMW Oracle Racing but first a video…"
[Cue boring, rah rah tumping yankee-doodle video on "how we won it" followed by…] Russ (in his most condescending Kiwi tones): "We’re gonna race in 2014 in massive cats with fixed wings"
[Cue a slick Bruce Farr video design concept video (yawn)] Russ: "Pretty exciting heh?"
[Cue stunned disbelief by the moronic Euro yachting journos who barely understand the term monohull, let alone what on earth Russ is going on about…followed by the most idiotic questions known to mankind in broken English from our continental cousins which surely have just been planted to wind Sir Russ up?] Idiot Journo: "Meeester Coutts, do you think Valencia will be the venue?"
Russ: "Don’t be fucking silly mate, I didn’t get paid $55 million to not bring Larry’s Cup back to SF."

Read the rest at the Rule 69 Blog.