Look, another alleged Brad Butterwoth e-mail that we intercepted…
Dear Sailing World,
I hope that you can help. I am currently seeking employment as a tactician, I was recently employed by a Swiss company, however my contract ended 5 minutes & 42 seconds before the yacht Alinghi crossed the finish line of the recent world sailing event known as the 33rd Americas Cup.
I feel In this role I excelled for approximately 20 minutes during the 2nd race held yesterday off the coast of Valencia, I managed to pick one correct shift after the start, I also managed to get us in the wrong place before the pre-start and ensured that we had to start the race with an unforced penalty.
Once we were approaching the port layline I expertly managed to overstand the layline as well as miss the chance to leebow our opposition. We then spent the whole next 2 legs getting further and further behind.
There really isn’t much need to go into the first race, but I think I did all I could – getting us in that first amazingly unexplainable foul at the start, sitting there like a bump on a log for the remainder of the race until the end where I managed to bungle the penalty turn in a fashion that had to be seen to be believed.
If you can help with any employment opportunities I would love to hear from you. There may also be the possibility that some of my colleagues in the design team, shore team, sail team, public relations team, sponsorship team, to name but a few, could also be looking for employment.