Sailorman Rescues Petrol Tanker


Sailorman Rescues Petrol Tanker

By CScow Associated Press
January 6, 2009. Santiago, British Columbia
Updated: 13 minutes ago

A ship was mistakenly rescued today, when the captain of a handmade schooner confused the 180-tonne petrol tanker Sonangol Kassanje with a nearby capsized race boat needing assistance.

Crew of the tanker and handmade rescue schooner "Anne" are said to be safe and in good health, but the incident was not without mishap. The captain of Sonangol Kassanje considered trying to outrun the handmade schooner, believing it looked "a lot like those pirate boats in the papers lately". However, the tanker remained stationary, intent on guarding the capsized race boat, leading to its striking Anne some 6 hours later.

Damages to the handmade schooner were difficult to determine, reportedly due to its general condition. "She’s in pretty bad shape. We just can’t figure out how a collision could age the sails that fast. About the only thing in workable condition is the deck. Looks like spruce out of a Steinway or something.", a member of the tanker’s crew noted. Sources indicate the tanker’s owners, backed by millionaire sponsors, denied responsibility but agreed to a settlement calling for their purchase of an "Admiral" membership to some obscure New York web site in exchange for Anne "just going away".

Jean Le Cam, skipper of the capsized VM Matériaux, witnessed the tanker rescue through a port hole and chose to remain captive in his inverted boat for 16 hours, indicating the hard working skipper of the handmade schooner had done enough for one day. "Thanks, but I’m good. Really! I already have a ride coming to pick me up, and have a couple of novels to read while I wait. Take a break!! Relax!!! Go sailing…..over there, by that tanker!!!. I’ll be fine!!!".

This tongue in cheek courtesy of cscow from our world infamous "Couple Cruise for 1000 Days" thread.