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The Doc Is In

Ask
Dr. Wetass

The Doc Is In

Tim Zimmerman, from The Wetass Chronicles fame, is now fielding
questions from you anarchists. This should be entertaining as hell,
so if you’ve got a problem that Dr. Wetass can solve, or at least make
fun of, well then just send
it in
!

Dear Dr. Wetass,

Cruising home from Bermuda after the race I had my young son on board
for his first blue water passage. In the dead of night in the 5 knot
stream we hit some confused seas and black growler squall or two. My
question is this: How do I convince an 11-year-old that that was fun?

Perplexed Rhode Island

Dear Perplexed:

You will probably never convince an 11-year-old that sailing through
a black squall in a wave-tossed Gulf Stream is fun (unless he is the
reincarnation of Bernard Moitessier). So you shouldn’t even try. Instead
commiserate with the brave mini-Wetsass, and give him a bit of the old
Clintonian "I feel your pain." The important thing, ultimately,
is to convince him that the passage overall was fun. Sure, there was
some puking, and maybe some moments of real terror. But what about that
sunrise, or that pod of whales, or that two-day reach in 15-knot winds?
It’s all about keeping the wider perspective. And if he is anything
like most of the sailors I know he will be more than happy to be telling
the story of that Gulf Stream crossing in the bar, err, I mean the rec
center. As Winston Churchill said: "There is nothing quite so exhilarating
as being shot at and missed." Or spinning the yarn after…

Dr. Wetass