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Contest

Man Down

We
learned today that Dave Graham, President of LaserPerformance, resigned
from the company a few weeks ago, less than a year after the merger between
Vanguard and Performance Sailcraft Europe that created LP. This usually
isn’t a good sign for a company that’s struggling with its identity, though
V.P. Chip Wilkerson assured us today that the LP is continuing to grow,
and that there’s nothing dire going on at all. The company, now owned
by a rug merchant named Farzad (nicknamed by some “Farzad the Fucktardian”),
is now looking for “a proven leader that is consumer focused and
who will take the company into a higher level of performance.”

Since
“sailing practice is a plus” for the high-paying gig, we figure’d
we’d help with the job search by asking Anarchists to post their best
“vision” for the future of LaserPerformance. SA’er “essex”
is already leading the way from a post today that catches some of the
subtleties of the relationship between the LP folks and US SAILING:

“On
becoming president I will immediately pursue a full merger with US Sailing.
The combined power of these respected Rhode Island institutions will allow
us to implement a policy whereby all sailors in the US must be members
of US Sailing and furthermore, all racing must be done only on Laser branded
vessels.”

Best
two mission statements for your new presidency win SA swag, and hell,
you may get hired! Have
fun
.