Dessert Award

One member of a group chartering a raceboat for their first Mack was not
a happy camper. Generally miserable after realizing that the race was
much longer than expected, this guy decided to ignore the skipper’s instructions
and promptly destroyed the head with a giant dump and tons of t.p. Angered
from the expected ribbing from the crew, he was on the phone with his
wife at the finish, explaining why he was so late, and how he’d never
race a boat again. He hung up, and as he moved to put his phone his pocket,
it slipped from his grasp into the lake. The crew’s laughter sent him
down below to hastily stuff his gear into his bag, in the hopes that he’d
jump ship the moment she hit the dock. In his mad stuffing, he grabbed
the liferaft deployment line, and his thrust into his backpack pulled
the inflation pin. The raft inflated, pinning him against the hull of
the boat, as he cried for help. The skipper calmly walked down the companionway,
looked at his mate and said, "Damn, I was going to rent that raft
out for the next race" and slashed the raft with his rigging knife.

While it’s great to have some new blood in racing, some people need to
stay on the golf course.