When men say “this never happens”, it is generally understood (by women) to be a bold and blatant lie. But in this case, it is true. This. Never. Happens. (Okay, well it happens maybe once every 12 years or so.) Up for sale is a ready to race 1977 Bonezzi. For those who don’t know, these boats are lovingly hand crafted in the small village of Mantua, Italy, by Vito Bonezzi and to say he is a boat builder would be an injustice on par with what is unfolding at the Oscar Pistorius trial. No. Vito Bonezzi is a boat artist. Contender World Championships are consistently won by Vito’s children, of which only a few are birthed each year and they remain perpetually and unnaturally in their prime, like Lance Armstrong, the Real Housewives, and zombie lions.
But if its lineage doesn’t impress you, then understand, gentlemen, that sailing this blonde beast will be the equivalent of bathing yourself in a tub of equal parts Axe body wash and Old Spice, then donning an Armani tuxedo with bottles of Moet tucked into each arm, the keys to your Bentley jingling in one hand, and your phone ringing in the other, with the caller being George Clooney wondering despairingly why you haven’t RSVPed to his invite to his party (in your honour) on Lake Como. That’s right. You will have women coming at you with such intense and all-consuming ardour that you’ll have to beat them off with a stick (figuratively, not literally in the Chris Brown sense).
As mentioned, this panty annihilator is ready to go – with carbon sticks, two sails (regatta worthy (Wavelength) and practice (Cicada)), foils, tenting top cover, full travel covers (top and bottom), dolly, and trailer. The cheddar being requested for the keys to the city of long sweaty nights is $6500. And in case you want to know why is this sleek wooden sex panther is up for sale, it’s because the seller is a tired, tired, old man who has settled into a monogamous relationship with an International 14, and as with all relationships, it’s hoovering up all of his available cash, time, and will to live.
UNLEASH THE SEX PANTHER NOW!
July 1st, 2014
So our recent Quarter Ton jag is now complete with this great pic sent in from Anarchist Joe. It is of course Magic Bus, the stunning 1/4 Ton from the late, great designer Paul Whiting. Smackwater Jack and Newspaper Taxi immediately come to mind….
June 30th, 2014
Now in its 15th year of operation as a member community, the Sailing Anarchy Forums have proven to be the single most useful place on earth to talk about sailing, and we’re proud to have seen this morning that the board has just logged its 4 millionth post, and we wanted to thank all of you sailing-obsessed, cubicle-entrapped sailors for making it happen!
Want to find out something about any sailboat in history? Need to learn how to rig your boat? Curious about the latest sail design? Looking for crew or a boat? Want to bullshit about your last PHRF race? Or maybe you just want to see naked girls on sailboats, or be entertained by some of the funniest, nastiest sailing put downs ever captured on a screen. For all this and more, there’s the world-famous SA Forums.
June 30th, 2014
Stalwart SA supporters Juan Mauri and Rondar Raceboats have joined forces! Rondar Boats USA are pleased to announce that Texas-based Mauri Pro Sailing is now an official outlet for the Viper 640, Rondar K6, and singlehanded K1 dinghy. Get in touch with Juan and the boys today to get advice on everything for your Rondar Raceboat, or to find a new one!
June 30th, 2014
Like Ian Storer’s Etchells/truck combo on the side of the road this morning, Bill Hardesty continues to be ‘on fire’ in the Etchells, helming Line Honors to his third World Championship in the past five years (after past sponsor Point Loma Outfitting went under).
Billy ‘The Kid” has proven, once again and beyond any doubt, that a good professional driver can bring three young rock stars to a fleet of largely elderly, less-than-athletic old men and crush them totally and completely. We get it; after all, a guy who will never again get the America’s Cup call needs to be the ‘go-to’ guy for the go-slow crowd, and Etchells gold is a great route to make Etchells green. But we do wonder if Bill feels a little silly, like a San Diego Charger fullback running through the defensive line of the mighty Toreros.
In his last World title, Hardesty had young guns Steve Hunt, Erik Shampain, and CMRC royalty Jen Wilson aboard, while this time around, Hardesty went for a very similar mix of young, fit rock stars; Melges 20 Corinthian World Champ Marcus Eagan, World Match Race Champ Taylor Canfield, and top US ranked women’s match racer Steph Roble, a team so far ahead of the fleet that they could head in before the final race, eating a 96th place…and still come out 35 points ahead of of runner-up Swedish Blue.
Condolences to Storer and more importantly, his tow vehicle, and feel free to shout at us over our Etchells prejudices in the thread.
June 30th, 2014
Lara Dallman-Weiss took what is by far the most interesting shot at the Newport, RI Etchells Worlds for the International Etchells Class. The shot is of the 5-mile long spliff cum cold front, ordered up to celebrate Rhode Island’s burgeoning medical marijuana industry, and its likely move to tax and legalize all weed by 2016. Three cheers for the Ocean State’s shitty economy, and four cheers for Lara’s awesome eye!
June 30th, 2014
June is always something of a ‘call of the wild’ for powerboaters, when a long winter, out-of-practice boaters, a rush to get boats in the water, and overworked, underskilled boatyard staff all combine to create a perfect storm of stupidity. Here are a few of the results of that storm, from the past month:
Insane conspiracy theorist and drunken wannabe yachtie Richard Rodriguez made off with Newport Beach’s 80-foot gin palace Stimulus over the weekend; a crime that may have succeeded had Rodriguez known how to drive a boat, known how to NOT call the Coast Guard on the radio, or known how to NOT get shitfaced on galley rum during a crime. This one is a crackup.
The Wrong Kind Of Threesome
60 year old party girl Mary Ann Belson was apparently looking for double points last week when she accompanied local fishermen Craig Gallo and James Benenato onto Gallo’s 26-foot fishing boat after some drinking at a local bar. After leaving the dock, the threesome quickly got down and dirty while the boat was left to its own devices, running smack into a LaGuardia Airport runway approach light and impaling itself on a piling. Unsurprisingly, the same incompetent Port Authority that missed a jet-skiier crashing his ride and climbing across the runways and into the JFK terminal in 2012 and a tranvestite hooker climbing a fence and strolling into Newark Airport last year missed this one, too – despite having a small armada of police boats tied up seconds from the menage à morons, the Port Authority couldn’t actually operate them at night…Chat about it all here.
Less funny but quite a bit more spectacular than the previous two is this drone footage from Chula Vista (San Diego), where the 110-foot, $17M Polar Bear did its best impression of a convicted Salem Witch earlier this month. Yachts catching fire ain’t unusual, but seeing it up close sure is, and thanks to the San Diego 6 news crew, we got that. The cause of the fire is under investigation. Click the pic to get to the outside video link.
The Swedish Navy’s will never live down the hubris-borne loss of the Vasa in the 17th century, but at least someone finally came up with a stupider, more top-heavy boat; check out the launch of the 90 foot long, $10M Baden in Anacortes, WA last month. We’ve been too wrapped up in hours of reading the hilarious thread to post earlier, but on a powerboat day, we couldn’t resist. Seriously, sit back and read that thread for a laugh or ten.
June 30th, 2014
Your guess is as good as ours.
June 29th, 2014
Matt Lawrence, 24, and Matt Setton, 29, have sailed a combined total 25000nm offshore. On Monday 30 June, they will commence the Ocean Racing Club of Victoria (ORCV) Melbourne to Vanuatu race as the only 2 handed entrant, a race distance of 1885nm.
They will be sailing “Jazz Player – TPF”, a Bakewell White Z39 mod, representing the Royal Melbourne Yacht Squadron (RMYS). Having campaigned Jazz Player for the last 4 Sydney to Hobart’s and a Melbourne to Hobart before that, it is a boat they are very familiar with.
June 29th, 2014
We doubt there has been a more impressive US single-handed sailor over the last 30 years than Webb Chiles. Here’s the proof.
“I’m at the Waikiki YC in Honolulu about to sail for Apia, Samoa next Tuesday.
My Moore 24 GANNET made Hilo in 17 days from San Diego, which was as I expected: but we would have made it a day or two earlier if my asymmetrical had not been damaged the first week out. We sailed the rest with only fully battened main and 110% furling jib, and made more than a thousand miles the second week.
I’ve never sailed a boat with quicker acceleration. A gust of wind or lining up on a wave, and the readings on the Velocitek went instantly from 6s and 7s to 9s and 10s. The maximum I saw was 12.4, and that was under reduced sail.
I’ve had the asymmetrical repaired here in Honolulu and had running backstays installed to reduce mast pumping when I sail with headsails alone, although the semi-custom mast Buzz Ballenger made for GANNET did not pump on the way across.
A few days ago I went to a West Marine. The very pretty girl at the cash register glanced down at the debit card receipt I signed, looked up and gave me a great smile. “I know you from the magazines. You’re the hard cord dude.”
I’m 72 years old. Great girl calls me “the hard core dude.”
Hell, I’ve won the game.” – Webb.
Title inspiration thanks to The Crystal Method.
June 28th, 2014