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a comedy of errors

 We’re not sure if there are 6 people left in the world that care about the curious demise of the hybrid sailing magazine/obese nudist soft-core porn rag Latitudes & Attitudes.  

Always a curiosity and more of a personal diary/fanzine/cult newsletter than a magazine, the real mystery is perhaps not just how sordid the story can get; what really blows our minds is how an educated human being could actually spend money on a business that produces print magazines about naked, obese cruisers.  Our reader Diarmuid responds to the exposé and post about it with a theatrical take; enjoy Act 1 of the Latts & Atts dramatization…

Cast

Deprecio (bar.), merchant

Fellatio (ten.), merchant

Bobo (count. ten.), a gelato seller

Lawyers

Unemployed journos (chorus)

Act 1.i

 [A fat man with tattoos pedals an ice-cream vendor's tricycle across the stage to calliope music]

Deprecio: I’ve had a look at the financials, pet, and I fear we shall not make payroll.

Fellatio: You worry too much.  You always worry.  It gives you age lines.  You should be happy, like before.

Dep.: We’re selling lifestyles, but no one’s buying.  We’re selling dreams, but dreams are free on the internet.

Fel.: Dreams should be free, my love.  As free as the wind and the waves, as free as a sailboat on the ocean blue.

Dep:That too we must discuss.  How much did we pay for our sailboat?

Fel. Bobo needed the money.  He wanted to buy a gelato stand.  Is he not a happy man now, Bobo?

 

 [Bobo enters from left, sucking suggestively on a Rocket Pop.]

 Bobo: Oh yeah!

[Slaps gut. Exits]

 Fel. We could be happy like Bobo.  It’s all a dream, we are the purveyors of dreams. Why fret about the lawyers, the unpaid bills, making payroll?

Chorus: [fart noises]

May 20th, 2013

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